I miss

I miss my past, my Europe so far, my boyfriend, my family and our trips together, Erasmus and Italy, amazing …old and full of centuries of magic. My grandpa who is a part of me and my model to live by, my neighborhood in Bucharest, cemetery and transvestites as well, I even miss the dust balls that I happen to hate, with their magic capacity of reappearing no matter how often you wipe them away.
I surely miss you, whoever you are, your kind words or your sharp tongue and wit, our long talks or our brief encounters.
I miss watching Dexter´s Lab with my brother, or a Hallmark detective episode with my mom.
Riding in the car with my dad, when he´s tired and quiet and calm as usual.
I miss his funny rhymes and the rare and precious stories from his youth. I miss my grandma whining on the phone

My classmates, my friends from university, our dances, our silliness, our philosophical truths.

I miss I miss I miss. When sad, I miss everything my senses ever met.
It´s bad, really…Missing things means missing out on the present.
And I know for sure that I´ll be missing this later on too.

With your head screwed on backwards, there is little place for talking steps forward, or actually seeing where you are going.
I know where I´ve been. I should start knowing where I am.

pic via http://333bracket.deviantart.com/art/Living-Backwards-47890483Living_Backwards_by_333bracket

About Mara Ambrosie

"I contain multitudes" W. Whitman. *poză de www.cataling.blogspot.com
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2 Responses to I miss

  1. Ruxi says:

    Maruţ şi mie îmi e tare dor de tine şi de tot ce a fost.
    Aştept cu nerăbdare să ne revedem.
    Postul ăsta mi-a adus un mare, mare nod în gât!

  2. Lana says:

    Prin exact dar exact aceeasi stare de spirit am trecut la un momentdat in Belgia. Imi era dor de tot si mi-era ciuda, caci stiam cumva ca, exact cum ai spus si tu, ratam si prezentul…si in momentul ala mi-am zis: “sunt convinsa ca vor veni momente, dupa ce voi pleca de-aici, in care imi voi dori sa pot da orice doar pentru a ma intoarce o zi, chiar si cateva ore, aici. Si-acum in loc sa ma uit bine in jur, ma uit in urma….” In urma cu cateva zile am primit un mail de la universitate, in care era anuntata inceperea inscrierilor. Era atasata o harta a Kortrijk-ului. Era tarziu, eram obosita si-a fost indeajuns ca ochii sa-mi pice doar pret de cateva momente pe mijlocul ei, Grote Markt, si-apoi sa alunce pe strazile lungi cu nume si mai lungi, terminate in “straat” ca sa simt cum sufletu-mi se strange, se indoaie, se face ghem si-mi ramane in gat. Si-mi aud inima: “As da orice, orice, o zi sa mai fiu acolo, in acel moment al vietii mele, cu acei oameni…” Dar nu se mai poate.

    Lasa dorul in seama noastra, cei de-acasa…Promit sa ti-l dau inapoi cand te intorci :*

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